Alternative Approach 

Dishonored 2 • Finished an entire mission with no casualties • 20G • 18.04% of gamers unlocked this

I really, really wanted to report on an achievement for Paladins today. Last night after making my way through a few more levels of Porta… I mean, The Turing Test …I felt like something a bit more upbeat.

I had seen something over the weekend from one of the esport wrap-ups about a Paladins console tournament either underway or about to take place, and perhaps my fear of getting left behind from another esport got to me, but I thought I’d give Paladins a go. And I loved it. Seriously… I thought it was really, really good. There’s a chance that the game was matching me alongside bots for my initial low levels, accounting for my relative ease in getting matches, but I didn’t care. The game didn’t seem to care. It was giving me achievements and XP like they were confetti at a wedding.

Tonight, however was a bit of a different story.


“A Player Failed to Join” annoys me for two reasons. The first is that some muppet couldn’t be bothered taking themselves out of the matchmaking queue if they got called away or needed to do something other than stare at the screen for a few minutes. Sure, buddy, I understand that it’s boring, but we all have to go through it. A pain shared…, etc.

Secondly, I get a bit miffed at the devs for not building in a bot backfill contingency. I think the best instance I’ve seen this done is in Rocket League, but it’s something evereybody – particularly those who are making matchmaking games – should think about. People suck, give us those robots!

So, after a whole bunch of player no-shows, I finally managed to get into a game by switching to the US server. It’s about 1am on the West Coast so I figured there’d be some Uni or something happening, but I guess not, because the game keeps crashing to home.

Time to give up? Yes, I think so too, so with that in mind, I switched to Dishonored 2 to start a new game – this one will be without powers. I have no idea where I ‘killed’ someone the first time I played, but following the guide, it recommends doing the ‘Domino’ achievement (one of Emily’s powers) and then going back to the start to do a power-free run.


So, that’s what I did. Less rubbish, more running. Going for a fatality-free playthrough seems easier when you just high-tail it from one side of the map to the other. The first level was as good as any other to do that on – so I did!

Now, with today’s achievement out of the way, excuse me while I dish myself up as a sucker for punishment and try for a game of Paladins once again! If I can’t get in, I could be pursuaded to pursue a session or two of Overwatch.

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